When your baby keeps crying, try not to get caught up in a campaign to get your baby to adjust to a rigid routine. Instead let’s recognise that the crying curve as a developmental phase does exist. Whatever way you look at it there are still some practical way to help a crying baby, regardless of whether you say they have colic or not.
Colic is the word used by parents to describe when their baby cries a lot or can’t settle for a lengthy period of time. It is now understood that ‘colic’ refers to the normal range of unsettled behaviour in many babies, which is really exhausting for parents. This crying and fussing can happen at any time of day, but often it is in the late afternoon and evening, especially between two weeks and four months of age. It is very common for young infants to have crying and unsettled times. This type of normal crying happens in babies all over the world, in all cultures.
What are the causes of colic?
Sometimes there is a medical reason for the baby’s crying and this may need to be checked by a doctor. This can be very helpful because it is hard for parents to provide reassurance to their baby if they are worried there may be a medical problem. But in most babies no medical cause is found. Crying is a communication from the baby to their care giver that they are not comfortable or are distressed. This is a normal part of their growth and development.
Newborns have to adapt to a range of new experiences and differ in how sensitive they are to physical and emotional events inside and outside their bodies. Sometimes the causes of the discomfort may be a wet nappy, being too hot or cold, wind (gas in their tummy), reflux, hunger, tiredness, feeling anxious or unhappy or needing company. Over time, newborns learn to anticipate what will help them feel better. For example, a good feed makes hunger go away, tiredness is fixed by a sleep, a wish for comfort met by holding and talking and playing. This process seems to take longer for some infants who are crying persistently.
Individual differences in babies
Some babies are easily frightened by and struggle to cope with normal physical sensations such as digestion. Others take a long time to adapt to the world and cope with changes. Many babies are very tuned in to the emotional world of their family and can be affected by family distress. Some babies seem to cry more than others or to need more soothing than others. This does not mean there is anything wrong, rather that all babies respond differently. Some babies cry more than others but studies show that the maximum crying occurs in the first three months of life.
Parents may also worry that crying is caused by something they have done and this can sometimes affect their confidence in handling and looking after their baby. Maternal or paternal depression, family stresses or losses or a difficult time in their own childhood can reduce parents’ confidence in interacting with their baby and make it hard to feel responsive or playful with their baby. It is also frustrating when crying starts and stops for no apparent reason at all. Especially when it seems unrelated to anything the parent does, either to begin the crying or to bring it to an end. We are all very uncomfortable with behaviors that happen when there is no apparent reason for them happening. We like to have explanations. And we especially like to think we can influence when crying starts or, especially, stops.
When does the crying curve begin?
Some studies have shown that during the first three months of life, there is a developmental pattern to the crying of babies. This pattern has been called the crying curve. Crying begins to increase at two or three weeks of age, peaks at around six to eight weeks of age, and gradually declines to the age of 12 weeks. Around about three months of age, crying becomes much more interactive, and your baby will use different cries to mean different things. This change coincides with the baby’s growing awareness of the world.
Remedies and Tips: Practical ways to help a crying baby
Parents should be reassured that a number of things can help them with a difficult-to-soothe baby. The most important suggestion is to get support from the family and talk to a health professional, such as a maternal and child health nurse, homeopath or doctor.
- Try to stay calm (easier said than done). Although you may not be able to stop the crying, you can help your baby to cope with their distress. It is hard to think clearly or provide reassurance to your baby if you are feeling panicky.
- Let your baby suck at the breast or bottle or dummy. It may help them to settle for a short period. Reasons to breastfeed other than to eat or drink are sometimes called breastfeeding for comfort, comfort nursing, comfort sucking, “non nutritive” sucking or even “using the breast as a dummy”.
- Ensure that your baby feeds longer on each breast rather than alternating between each breast. The hindmilk that comes out after the baby has sucked on a breast for a while is more nutritious than the foremilk that comes out at the beginning. Hindmilk contains more fat, this promotes digestion and soothes the stomach. Too much foremilk can cause digestive distress.
- Colic can be caused by gas, a sluggish digestive track or reflux. A particular strain of probiotics called Lactobacillus reuteri has been found to be effective in dealing with colic. It helps to reduce gut inflammation, kills bacteria and inhibits E. coli bacteria that is present more in babies with colic than in babies without colic. Seek advice in deciding which probiotic to give to your baby.
- Clearly what you eat goes into making breast milk, so your diet affects breast milk. But that said, sometimes avoiding certain foods will make a big difference and other times not at all. So, try it out and pay attention to what you eat. If you’ve had a problem with dairy before then now is the time to be a bit more careful to avoid dairy products. Some mothers find that avoiding foods containing gluten, citrus fruits, caffeine and spicy foods will reduce the colic their baby suffers from.
- Changing the feeding bottle or teat can alter the amount of air that your baby swallows while feeding. This, in turn, affects digestion.
- If your baby is colicky all the time, changing the formula milk brand may help. Again ask advice from the MCHN.
- 100% natural gripe water has been effective in treating colic for some babies. The water is usually a blend of chamomile, fennel, ginger and lemon balm. While buying the water make sure it is completely natural and does not contain any preservatives. Also, ask your pharmacist or MCHN for recommendations.
- Some colicky babies seem to improve when riding around in a car. To take advantage of this, a device was even invented to simulate a car ride by vibrating the crib and having the sound of a car motor and the wind noises of an open car window.
- Try and adopt a ‘baby-centred’ approach and think from the baby’s point of view.
- Remember, you cannot spoil your baby by too much cuddling or feeding.
- Try to select some soothing strategies that are suited to your baby and use these regularly so that the baby learns to anticipate what happens when they are upset.
- Gently rock or hold your baby in your arms or in a baby carrier or sling.
- Continue to speak softly to your baby. Your voice and presence and even soft music may help soothe them.
- Try giving a warm bath. Parents have done this for centuries.
- Try a nut-free baby massage oil. Massage their tummy in a clockwise direction. This may calm the baby and also help you to relax.
- NEVER shake a baby. Shaking babies even gently, can cause brain damage and life-long disability.
- The demanding evening time may be easier if you plan around it. For example, plan to eat dinner earlier if your baby is unsettled around then or plan to carry your baby in a sling at this time.
- Some babies seem to need to be with their mother all the time. Try not to battle this. As the baby develops their confidence, they will learn to self soothe. Keep separations to a minimum, try to remain in the baby’s view, carry the baby in a sling or move the baby from room to room in the pram. They may benefit from a dose of a homeopathic remedy.
- Try not to get caught up in a campaign to get your baby into a rigid routine around sleeping and feeding. As babies get older they become more alert and awake for longer periods and their interest in you and the world can help them to be distracted from what is going on inside their bodies.
- If your baby is in a playful mood make the most of this time for some enjoyable interaction for you both.
- If possible try and GET SUPPORT from family and friends. Some mothers find it helpful to have a short break from the baby so that they can relax. For others, help with family chores is most helpful as then they can concentrate on comforting their baby. If help is not available, safely place your baby in the cot and have a few minutes to take some deep breaths and relax. If your baby is crying for most of the day, it is important to get support and talk to a health professional (MCHN, GP, paediatrician, homeopath, counsellor) during this difficult time.
- A great book to read is called Gentle Birth, Gentle Mothering.
Written for dads: How to stop a baby from crying
There are some wonderful dads come through our clinic and they often really want to help “fix” the problem of the crying baby. They are often very practical and their job is to figure things out and successfully fix the situation. The trouble is babies just don’t follow the guidebook. They carry on just how they are designed to, they do what they do.
It’s frustrating to come home from work, yet again, to a house that’s a wreck, your baby crying and the mumma of the baby also feeling like a wreck. Both parents can feel inadequate and not good enough as a parent. It can be hugely stressful. Also the extra crying often happens in the late afternoon and evenings, highly likely that it’s the same time you might come home from work. That said, after you realise that it’s a part of the crying curve and kind of normal, now is very much the time to help out instead of being in fix-it mode. Pick up a take away dinner on your way home and when you get there, put your day-job tools of the trade, suitcase etc away and try some of the tips listed above. I’ve heard more than once that a baby responded beautifully to their dad giving them a nice warm tummy rub and singing quietly in their daddy voice.
Medication for the treatment of colic
Medication is not recommended. It may mask illness, interfere with feeding or make your baby too sleepy. Medication should only be used on the advice of a doctor and only for a SHORT period of time.
When do you need to see a doctor?
- You would like the doctor to check there is no medical cause for the crying.
- Your baby is refusing feeds or is having less than half their normal feeds.
- If your baby has very high-pitched crying that persists, or in some cases very low-pitched crying that persists, it can be associated with severe or chronic illness. This type of crying is different from ‘normal’ infant crying, and is not to be confused with the excessive crying identified as colic.
- You hear your baby crying uncontrollably suddenly
When do you need to see a homeopath?
- Your doctor has ruled out a medical reason.
- Your baby does not seem to settle with any of the things you are trying.
- Your baby continues to cry for long periods.
- You and your baby had a traumatic birth.
- You haven’t yet established an at-home kit of homeopathic remedies.
When do I need to see a counsellor?
- You feel you are not coping
- You feel the crying is impacting on your relationship with your baby or you are finding it hard to feel positive about them
- Your mental health or your relationship with your partner is being affected
- You are worried for any other reason.
When do you need to see a chiropractor?
We advise that every baby and mother should be checked by a chiropractor or osteopath, at least once after birth. This is especially important if you have a colicy, crying and unsettled baby.
Although it has been identified that there is a ‘normal’ crying curve up till say three months of age for babies, this blog has also provided some practical tips about soothing crying babies.
Thank you for a fair part of this information to the wonderful folk at the Royal Children’s Hospital in Melbourne.
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